Cleveland’s Lonnie Chisenhall Had One Hell Of A Night
by Tommy Gimler Lonnie Chisenhall, who you might recognize from the phrase, “Who in the fuck is Lonnie Chisenhall?” had a monster game tonight, going 5-for-5 with 3 home runs and 9 RBI as the...
View ArticleOnce Again, Cleveland Indians Fans Are Fucking Pathetic This Year
by Tommy Gimler I love the Tribe. In fact, I love watching them so much that I went to Progressive Field to watch them get curb stomped by the Oakland Athletics on a Friday night in May when the game...
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The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams
by Tommy Gimler Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in...
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The Top 5 MLB First Half Fantasy DUDs
by Tommy Gimler Matthew Berry and Eric Karabell are huge fucking dorks at the four-letter, and they told you to draft these guys before the 2014 MLB season started. But odds are if you still have...
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The Cleveland Indians Got Dicked Last Night By A Ball That Was Thrown Onto...
by Tommy Gimler Let’s be honest. If you were still watching the Indians and Reds game last night instead of tuning into Mike Trout battle Clayton Kershaw in Los Angeles, then you’re either a liar or a...
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2015 AL Central Preview
by Tommy Gimler The Kansas City Royals damn near found a way to win the World Series last year despite manager Ned Yost’s best efforts to deliver their fans a big dick sandwich in the AL Wild Card...
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If Brandon Moss Wants His 100th Home Run Ball, He’s Going To Have To Give The...
by Frank Rhombus Good news for Brandon Moss, as his home run off Jeremy Guthrie in the 4th inning of Cleveland’s 2-1 victory over Kansas City Tuesday night was the 100th of his career. The bad news is...
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It Was Quite The Shitshow At Progressive Field Last Night
by Frank Rhombus The gay Stone Cold Steve Austin took a foul ball off his dome, the dude running the fireworks set them off after a Royals player hit a home run, and the Indians lost the game,...
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2016 AL Central Preview, Bro
by Rakesh the Intern Good thing they don’t let Cousin Deepak bring kids to work, bro. Dude has something like 8 or 9 kids, and he’s only something like 27, my friend. Potent, bro. It’s that time of...
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Juan Uribe Says They Don’t Make Cups Big Enough To Protect His Massive Dick
by Tommy Gimler Well then. It looks as though Juan Uribe’s hog is almost as big as his appetite. Odds are you missed the Indians-Angels game Sunday afternoon because you were busy doing anything else,...
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Check Out This ‘Tribute’ Terry Francona Put Up On The Indians’ Scoreboard For...
by Tommy Gimler Wait, so you’re telling me there once was a player who was worse than Melvin Upton Jr.? The Tampa Bay Rays are in Cleveland tonight for the first of a three-game series against the...
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The Cleveland Indians Are Hotter Than Kate Upton Scissoring Charlotte...
by Tommy Gimler That’s pretty hot. In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Indians have managed to win 10 games in row and have told the rest of the AL Central to...
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Charlie Sheen Wants To Throw A First Pitch At The World Series And That...
by Tommy Gimler I mean, why not? After all, we’re told he matured a lot over the winter. Apparently he’s bathing now. According to Hardball Talk, Chuck Sheen (aka Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn) wants to...
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5 Bold Predictions For The 2016 World Series
by Tommy Gimler It’s been 19 years since that turd Jose Mesa couldn’t get three outs in the bottom of the ninth inning in Game 7 for the Tribe, and the last time the Cubs played in a World Series, all...
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Indians Fan Drops Mad Cash To Sleep At World Series
by Tommy Gimler The dude could have just stayed home and watched ten minutes of Mr. Selfridge on PBS and gotten the same result for free. More dumbfounding than Joe Maddon’s decision to use Aroldis...
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Some Truly Remarkable Shit Went Down In Between The Cubs’ Last Two World...
by Tommy Gimler Greatest. Game. Ever. Whether you were huddled around a television of the high-definiton variety with a dozen other North Siders or in your grandma’s basement looking up at the TV in...
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I Ate A Pot Cookie And Then Predicted How Every AL Team Would Finish
by Frank Rhombus If my calculations are correct, the Indians are going to win six billion games this year. Forget whatever the hell Major League Baseball tried to do yesterday, as the real Opening Day...
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The Responses To The Chief Wahoo Protests Are Pretty Goddamn Funny
by Frank Rhombus You think every Irish person rags on a Notre Dame logo? That was just one of the many “fuck you” responses Cleveland Indians fans had for the six or seven people who braved the...
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The Indians Are Hotter Than Shit. The Guys From Major League? Yeah, Not So Much
by Tommy Gimler If the legendary Lou Brown was still here, you’d probably hear him say something to the effect of, “You might live in Hollywood, but you look like shit.” Winners of 16 straight, the...
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Rob Refsnyder Hit Probably The Craziest Ground-Rule Double You’ll Ever See
by Tommy Gimler Less than one week until baseball, kids! Believe it or not, Rob Refsnyder is not the name of a pedophile living in Toledo but rather that of a Major League outfielder trying to catch...
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