by Frank Rhombus
The gay Stone Cold Steve Austin took a foul ball off his dome, the dude running the fireworks set them off after a Royals player hit a home run, and the Indians lost the game, dropping them back below .500. It’s safe to say the Cleveland Indians and their fans have seen better days than yesterday.
Everybody knows that the first rule of foul ball etiquette is if you can’t catch the ball then get the fuck out of the way so somebody with at least an ounce of athletic talent can make a play on it. Well, apparently everybody except this fucking clown:
I mean, Jesus fuck. He wasn’t even close to catching that ball. And it doesn’t help that he’s sporting a size 9 dome either. Sooner or later a ball was going to hit him there because it’s so goddamn big. Look at that fucking thing. If you told me that he can’t get through a tray of nachos without some of them climbing out of the tray and orbiting around his head, I’d have no choice but to believe you.
But for as bad as that effort and result were, it’s not even close to as pathetic as the sack of fuck the Tribe had in control of setting off fireworks when one of their players goes yard. Well, at least he was supposed to set them off for the home team’s players:
You better hang your head in your hands, you stupid fuck. Boo away, Tribe fans. I mean, it’s the top of the 5th inning. You know who’s not at bat in the top of any inning of any game at Progressive Field? Yup, you guessed it: The fucking Indians. That controller should be anywhere but in your hands during the top of the inning, you fucking putz.
And to make matters even worse, the Royals shutout the Tribe and dropped them back below the .500 mark. However, in case you haven’t noticed, and judging by attendance you haven’t, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there and are just five games out of the Wild Card. That means despite Tuesday’s dog shit performance, the postseason is still a possibility.
Well, at least they have a better shot of playing baseball in mid-October than Gay Steve Austin has at catching a foul ball anytime soon…
Wait, there’s more: 5 Things We Know After Week 1 Of The NFL
You have got to see this shit: