by Tommy Gimler
Well then. It looks as though Juan Uribe’s hog is almost as big as his appetite.
Odds are you missed the Indians-Angels game Sunday afternoon because you were busy doing anything else, but during the Tribe’s 8-3 curb stomping of the Halos, third baseman Juan Uribe got hit in the nards by a 106 MPH ground ball off the bat of Mike Trout, who of course can plow my sister.
Here’s how it looked in real time:
And now watch Uribe lose the ability to reproduce in super slo-mo:
“Don’t hit any bumps on the way out.”
And boom goes the dynamite.
After the game, Uribe was asked if he was wearing a cup despite the fact that it was painfully obvious that he wasn’t. Asked if he would wear one from here on out, Uribe dropped this bomb on us:
Juan Uribe said today he doesn’t wear a cup because the trainers don’t have one in his size…. Then he said I’m serious.
— Andre Knott (@DreKnott) June 13, 2016
Well at the very least, we now know why center fielder Tyler Naquin waits until Uribe goes home before he hits the showers…
Wait, there’s more: Does Muhammad Ali Have A Sex Tape?
You have got to see this shit: