by Tommy Gimler
Wait, so you’re telling me there once was a player who was worse than Melvin Upton Jr.?
The Tampa Bay Rays are in Cleveland tonight for the first of a three-game series against the Indians, and based on attendance numbers for both clubs, odds are you’ll be busy watching anything else. But that means Rays manager Kevin Cash is back alongside some familiar faces, as he played under Indians manager Terry Francona when he was at the helm of the Red Sox and then later coached with him in Cleveland before landing his latest gig in St. Petersburg.
And to say things are off to a great start would be a bigger understatement than me saying I would enjoy holding Kate Upton’s hand, as everybody knows I would eat a Mounds bar out of her asshole, and I hate coconut:
Indians manager Terry Francona had the scoreboard operator put up a tribute to Rays manager Kevin Cash. pic.twitter.com/wgqfjTqfaE
— Jared Carrabis (@Jared_Carrabis) June 20, 2016
Jesus Christ, those are some dreadful numbers. Imagine how big of a bag of shit the guy waiting in Pawtucket behind Cash must have felt knowing that the big league club would rather have a guy on their roster not even hitting his weight instead of him.
In a related story, based on the fact the Cavaliers brought the city of Cleveland their first major sports championship since 1964 last night, we’ll set the over/under for tonight’s attendance at six…
Wait, there’s more: The Players Of Game 7 Of The NBA Finals And Their Game Of Thrones Counterparts
You have got to see this shit: