by Frank Rhombus
Good news for Brandon Moss, as his home run off Jeremy Guthrie in the 4th inning of Cleveland’s 2-1 victory over Kansas City Tuesday night was the 100th of his career. The bad news is that the guys who caught it want a shit ton of, well, shit in return for it, even though they’re on his own team.
Moss’s 4th-inning shot landed in the Indians bullpen, and it seems as though they have some demands before they hand it over to him so he can put it in what is presumably a pretty empty trophy case:
Our bullpen caught Moss’ 100th home run ball. They delivered this ransom note to Brandon after the game. #Windians pic.twitter.com/qD0d98Un9k
— Cleveland Indians (@Indians) June 3, 2015
Look, we get the demands for cash and top notch electronics, but what the fuck is up with Marc Rzepczynski’s request for a 50 gallon drum of lube? It seems as though his last name isn’t the only thing that is a fucking nightmare with this guy.
Although, maybe now we know what has made his curveball so goddamn devastating all these years…
Wait, there’s more: So, How Much Sand Is In Stephen Strasburg’s Vagina These Days?
You have got to see this shit: